Review: The Sexy Vegan Cookbook

Sexy Vegan: Bourbon Tempeh Sliders

With a Sailor Jerry glass full of bourbon in hand before I’ve enjoyed my first meal of the day, I wonder if this book was written just for me. I’ve been anticipating it with feverish fury since I enjoyed my first Sexy Vegan youtube video a couple of years ago. Brian Patton, the sexy vegan behind the Sexy Vegan persona is not one to do things the average way– and I’m not referring to his choice to become vegan, but to the way he goes about it. The first chapter of the book, “The most important meal of the day – cocktails” kicks things off on a unique and very awesome note– and to my delight, he doesn’t fill half the book with recipes for overly sugary-baked goods as is trendy in the vegan cookbook world. Instead, there’s a small bonus chapter “We all Scream!!” with a few bitchin’ ice cream recipes. Other ballsy chapter titles include: “Beatin’ the Meat” and “Go Fork Yourself.”

Reader discretion is advised

This book is bejeweled with countless awesome references to poop, balls, Star Trek, Canada (where he says most of his fans are from); and includes cuss words, sexual innuendos, and several recipes featuring Sailor Jerry (the best) rum. In many ways, I’m pretty dude-like, despite being what some refer to as a “lady”, so I love this style. He also offers li’l WTF bits, which are what other cookbook authors might call “quick tips” or ”what’s this?” And to be cutting edge as hell, SV has provided us with QR codes that bring up bonus youtube videos. He also includes old-fashioned web links for those of you who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

Many of Sexy Vegan’s recipes call for components that are already full-on recipes– which is pretty sweet when it comes to being creative with leftovers ,and for the cook that likes to be challenged. I try to keep things pretty quick and simple when I cook– but I must say the effort pays off. I attempted the ‘Quote Unquote Tuna Melt’ even though I just wanted to eat a bag of corn chips one night, and the process– however lengthy for a sandwich– was soothing (or perhaps that was the rum?) Just last night, I finally tried the Bourbon Tempeh Sliders (an excellent excuse to treat myself to a pricey bottle of my favourite drink). We served this with a side of Caesar Salad, whose Creamy Dressing will be the new condiment of choice around this house. IT WAS RIDICULOUS! I’ve been putting it on everything I’ve eaten for the last 24 hours and now have to make another batch. This morning’s “Pretend Canadian Bacon”– a tribute to his Canadian fans– even smelled like bacon (in all the good ways) when cooking. I kinda drank some of the marinade too. Oops.

Extra points for “goblin” usage

The Sexy Vegan calls himself an ordinary dude, but I think he’s understating what’s true: he’s fucking extraordinary! Any cookbook that uses the word “goblin” three times– once even employing the term “hobgobin”– will certainly win in my heart, and has. Brian Patton, thank you for paving the way for men to create awesome macho vegan cookbooks, just like Uhura and Captain Kirk did for the television inter-racial kiss. There, I’ve referenced Star Trek right backatcha!

Reviewed and recommended by Beany von Doom
photo: Bourbon Tempeh Sliders

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